Hit me with your best shot!

I don't know what to say.

Things are falling apart. I don't know what I am doing right now. Everything doesn't feel right. In fact, everything just don't fall in the correct place.

I feel that I don't have anybody to be with me, to stand by me right now. It just seem too blurry.

Job, school matters, upcoming new job and the uncertainties that whether I can get a place in that job.

I just need motivation, that's all. It seems that everyone doesn't understand. All they can give is just comforting words which I find it cold.

& him.....

well, he seems fine though. He will be fine I guess. Listening to his voice just makes my heart skips a beat but knowing that you are getting to know someone is another thing. It's kinda true that one of my friends used to said, why didn't I make the first move, tell him what I feel. I did talked to him but, it didn't seem as great as how he talks to that girl.Truth is, I know what I want but does he know what he wants? I'm kinda being judgmental towards that girl and you know what I get from him? "You have the full package, you know religion and all. Why can't you sacrifice a bit, let me help her to know the religion. I think you are better on your own"

And my heart just breaks. . . .

WOW!that really hurts me like a lot. I can't take it. The person that I really stood up on and this is what  I get? I know he is kind and has very good intentions (and thanks for the compliment but) towards the girl. I guess I have to back off. Things getting out of hand. I can't do anything about it at all.

Lastly, Happy New Year to you guys. Hope you have great resolutions in mind.

For me, I just want this to end, fast.