#kahwinblogs: Betul nak kahwin?

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This is my second series of #kahwinblogs after like one year. I remembered that I babbled a lot of kahwin stuff last year. about the other half, the marriage, the journey to become parents and such. I find that we need to take a big leap to go through this phase of getting married and be merry till Jannah. Wedding is wedding, a day or two event where if can be as memorable moment as possible but there's a disclaimer, wedding and marriage is totally different thing. Wedding is all the glitz and glamour, the attention is all at you and full of fun and happiness (and sometimes not due to vendor cockup and all). But wedding is a lifetime (insyaAllah, we dont want to get married so many times right?) where you stay together with that person, to get used to their flaws and bad habits. But you know what, its not always bad things that gonna be in marriage. There's good thing like you will go through hell with the other half, you have someone to be with on your shitty day. You get to experience a thing growing inside you and having someone by your side to go through this together.

To prepare for this journey, there are a lot of things you need to know:


  1. Prepare mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually to get married. It's gonna be very overwhelming. To start up, try talking to you parents about marriage for 20 over years, take tips from married couples, married life and stop referring to your favourite sitcoms or novels. You have to start saying that THEY ARE NOT REAL. IT'S MAN MADE STORIES AND YOURS IS CREATED BY GOD. Go belajar ugama, fully equip yourself about agama, about the fiqh and sciences. Emotionally, I always have the roller coaster ride with this because I know that I have to move out from house, I don't buy a house and I have to sacrifice a lot of things (well actually by nature, the wife has to sacrifice a lot of things).
  2. Dont put high hopes on your other half. Full stop. They are human and tend to make mistakes, what you see before marriage is totally different from what you see after marriage. You cant have high expectation e.g. wanting him to fetch you from work everyday, to go dating on friday nights. Just have an empty heart, just take things one at a time.
  3. Marrying him means marrying his family and their traditions and customs. Whatever their ways of doing things, just follow because you cant do as you want or your style. People may thing you are very arrogant and you just stepped into the marriage world and you know it all. Just follow their ways, when you have your own house, you can do whatever you want! But to certain extend if its syirik, then dont follow okay!
And the list will goes on and on and on.hahaha!

Or you can broaden your horizon by reading these articles. Something to ponder from Hilal Asyraf and his book Sebelum Aku Bernikah.


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